In this post – 9 practical tips for designing an apartment as a couple.
This post is dedicated to my oldest daughter as she prepares to move across country to start her first job as a licensed physical therapist. She and I have been shopping for furnishings for her first adult apartment. She wants a space that’s comfortable for both herself and her boyfriend, so a thoughtful design is important. I hope this post is helpful for her (and you!) Love you K!
Moving into your first apartment as a couple is a big milestone—and an exciting opportunity to create a home that reflects both of you. Whether you’re blending styles or starting fresh, designing a shared space can feel overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be! A gender-neutral approach to decorating can help strike the perfect balance: modern, warm, and inclusive.
Here are some tips for designing a stylish, functional first apartment that feels like home to you both.
1. Start with a Shared Vision
Before you start shopping or scrolling Pinterest, sit down together and talk about what you want your home to feel like. Cozy? Clean? Playful? Minimalist? This will help you build a shared foundation. Try creating a joint mood board or Pinterest board to get a sense of your combined aesthetic. Here’s a quick quiz to get you thinking!
Tip: Focus on vibe over theme. “Relaxed and warm” is easier to design for than “boho meets industrial meets cabin.”
2. Choose a Neutral Base Palette
A gender-neutral apartment starts with a balanced color palette. Think soft whites, grays, beiges, greige, earthy greens, and wood tones. These shades are timeless, calming, and serve as a great backdrop for layering in personality through art, textiles, and decor.
Try:
- White walls with light wood furniture
- Soft gray, blue or olive green accents
- Natural textures like rattan, linen, or jute
3. Mix Textures, Not Just Colors
To keep your space from feeling flat or too sterile, bring in texture. Mix leather with cotton, boucle with metal, or matte ceramics with shiny glass. Texture adds warmth and interest without relying on bold patterns or gendered colors.
Bonus: Textures age well, especially in high-traffic areas like the living room.
4. Go Minimal on the Furniture
In small apartments, every piece counts. Opt for clean-lined, multifunctional furniture—think a sofa bed for guests, a dining table that doubles as a desk, or an ottoman with storage. Avoid overly bulky or decorative pieces, and prioritize comfort and quality.
Look for:
- A comfy, neutral couch
- Sleek, low-profile coffee tables
- Modular storage that adapts to your space
5. Add Personality Through Decor
Here’s where you can get creative together. Instead of defaulting to gendered decor, look for art, books, and accessories that tell your story—travel souvenirs, favorite quotes, shared hobbies, or mutual favorite colors.
Ideas:
- Black and white photography
- Abstract or geometric prints
- Books you both love displayed on open shelves
- Plants for a touch of life and calm
6. Keep the Bedroom Balanced
Your bedroom should feel like a retreat for both of you. Choose soft, high-quality bedding in a neutral or earthy tone. Layer with throw pillows and blankets in colors or patterns you both like. Keep nightstands symmetrical (even if they’re not identical), and include lighting that supports winding down together.
7. Create Zones for Togetherness & Independence
In a smaller space, it’s easy to feel like you’re always together—but creating little “zones” gives you room to breathe. A reading nook, a desk corner, or even a mini coffee bar can create independence within your shared home.
8. Don’t Rush It
You don’t need to furnish everything overnight. Start with the essentials, then build gradually as you live in the space and understand your needs. Curating your home together over time makes it more meaningful—and avoids impulse buys. Using a checklist can help prioritize what your needs and wants are.
Free Checklist!
For a free shopping checklist click here!
9. Function First, Always
A beautiful home is great—but if it doesn’t work for your day-to-day life, it won’t last. Make sure you have enough storage, good lighting, comfy seating, and easy-to-clean surfaces. Good design is also practical — it puts functionality at the heart of the aesthetic.
Final Thoughts
Designing your first apartment as a couple should be fun, not stressful. Focus on what brings you comfort, connection, and calm. By creating a gender-neutral space rooted in simplicity, warmth, and shared intention, you’re not just decorating a home—you’re building one.
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